Axiom 3: The Nature of a Relationship Depends on How Both Parties Punctuate the Communication Sequence

     Punctuation is defined as, "interpreting an ongoing sequence of events by labeling one event as the cause and the following event as the response" (Griffin 185). In a relationship, individuals sometimes interpret the cause and response differently. One person may think their action is only the effect of what the other person did. An example of this is described by psychotherapist R.D. Laing in his book Knots. The book demonstrates many different situations of relationships in knots. One such knot, is displayed through a couple in which a man is unhappy and the woman is unhappy when he is unhappy. Then the man feels guilty if she is not happy and she feels unhappy because she wants them both to be happy. This knot is very complicated and punctuation plays its role in that she thinks she gets depressed by his guilt, however he feels he gets guilty when she is depressed. Therefore, they punctuate their causes and responses differently, which causes conflict.

     The above chart displays the couple's sequence of interaction and where each the man and woman punctuate their interactions. The man punctuates his with the letters q and s and the woman punctuates hers at p, r, and t. As you can see, both punctuate the opposite of each other.
   
Many more of these knotted situations and disputes of punctuation can be seen in Laing's novel here: Knots: Preview.

    Through the TV show Pretty Little Liars, Aria and both of her parents punctuate their interactions differently. This is seen when Ella and Byron have separated but then start sneaking to see each other behind their children's backs. Aria asks both of her parents questions about where they've been because she thinks they are guilty of something. However both Ella and Byron feel they show guilt after Aria questions them. Therefore Aria and Byron and similarly Aria and Ella would punctuate their interactions differently. Aria would say her parents' guilt is the cause, and questioning them is her response. Byron and Ella would punctuate the interaction by saying Aria's questions are the cause of their uneasiness. In the following scenes, you can see how Aria's parents react to her speculations and Aria's reaction to how jumpy her parents seem.